I’m back! Thank you to everyone who took the time to write such beautiful and kind words. I was blown away – thank you. And thank you to everyone for being so patient, for supporting me during this well needed time off. Thank you for continuing to read and trusting that I would come back! I can’t thank you enough…
So what did I do on my 40 days off you ask? Well… not much. Unfortunately I don’t have a ton of fun photos to share or fun experiences to write about (minus this breathtaking trip to Jasper). I pretty much was an ‘a-loner’. Huh? Yes, that’s right. I spent a whole bunch of time alone. Not necessarily feeling lonely, just alone. Hence, an ‘a-loner’. Happy being alone. I was in a quiet, calm space filling up this lil’ soul of mine, which was well over due.
To be honest, I wasn’t able to look at my blog for most of my time off. I hid as much as I could. Nourished this lil’ exhausted soul. Apparently, it was tired. Flat. Lifeless, is what it felt. This is not me? I’m not flat? I’m not dull? Something must be wrong. And so I listened…
With a spoonful of humility, I listened. I became quiet. I learned. I recognized. My body was trying to tell me something. Let go. I tried to ignore it, but it wouldn’t go away. LET GO! It yelled even louder. So that’s just what I did. I simplified. I let go. Of probably too many things, but it’s what my heart was asking for. A dream job at a dream company, a booked trip to Hawaii with a marathon to boot (sorry guys but this marathon has been put on hold!), and more things that would make many people think, ‘this girl is crazy’ – funny, you don’t know this yet??!
I listened to myself and I followed. I followed my gut. At points, I would become frustrated. Why? Why should I give this up? I don’t understand!, I would scream from inside. Why?! Why is this what I want? Frustrated for having the ability to understand what my body was telling me and frustrated for following through. Why me? Why am I able to understand this? I was scared. Scared to follow, scared to let go. Scared of the unknown. I let go of the comfortable and threw myself into the unfamiliar. But strangely enough, it felt good. Like a sneaky content, smirky glimpse of a smile – it knows. It trusts. This is right.
So what happens when you give up “the dream” to follow your heart. Does this then become the dream?? Living to your heart’s fullest? Not doing what other people would crave for? Not following the norm? Drawing your own squiggly lines instead of following everyone elses’ straight and narrows. Does this then become brave? To give up the glamour and excitement for humility? To give kindness to yourself? I believe so. I believe this is what builds the foundation for greatness. Because when we are doing what we love, we are in-spired. In-spirit. Glowing. Contagious. Spreading joy.
Sometimes life needs to be shaken up. Woken up a little. Like that snow globe you dust off from the holiday box and put up on the shelf. That old thing? Just sitting there, it blends in. It’s plain. There’s not much to it. It’s just another Christmas ornament like all the others. However, this ordinary ornament becomes more beautiful, more unique, the more you shake it up. When you mix up all of those settled pieces before placing it back on the shelf, it stands out. You want to watch, you want to en-joy it. You want to take it in. You better understand its purpose – all because you shook it up.
If life shakes you up a little bit, sit back and enjoy the beauty in it. Everything seems to happen for a reason. Who really knows the reason why, and to be honest, who really cares. Give up the ‘why’, and just be. If your little soul needs a vacation? Take it. Don’t worry about why, just do what it needs. Don’t worry what anyone else will think either, just do what you love. Listen to your heart. And just breathe. The rest will fall into place. It always does.
It’s good to be back….
Smile with your heart!
(p.s. my bad for counting wrong – I didn’t realize until last night that it’s been over 40 days since I’ve blogged. Oops! I must have counted wrong in my state of exhaustion – I guess I really did need the extra break! Thanks for understanding – it’s good to be back!)