Unconditional love. The best kind of love in my opinion. It’s real, never passes judgement, always there and it’s raw. Who you are is who you are. No ifs, ands or buts about it. To me, feeling unconditional love towards someone is one of the most comforting and real emotions that we are capable of expressing. You can laugh, vent, cry, be quiet, be loud, just pretty much be yourself. You can let them know when they’re treating you kindly and you can let them know when they’re not. And it is okay. It’s unconditional.
Family. Close friends. Maybe even your pets. They, for the most part, will always be there for you. You can trust that this love is always there. Perhaps sometimes it fades for a while with a glimpse of anger or frustration, but with time it heals. It’s solid. You trust it. You trust that it will always be there. The word itself means: without depending on condition. It is certain. It is constant. You are always connected.
So this feeling we are able to express towards other people – why is it often so hard to express it towards ourselves? We constantly judge with every look in the mirror, we lack forgiveness when we do something we are not pleased with, and we often just don’t feel good enough. Why are we okay with being so easily negative and hurtful towards ourselves, but would feel guilty for treating someone else this way?
Everyone knows the old saying, “Treat others the way you would like to be treated”. Fair enough, right? Well, it works both ways. “Treat yourself the way you would treat the people you love most”. Yep – that’s now a Thiel-ism. Really though, would you judge or constantly think negative thoughts about the person you love most? Maybe sometimes (we’re not perfect), but for the most part you wouldn’t. You treat them kindly. You are warm, open, and you show them the most vulnerable parts of yourself. You trust them because you know they love you unconditionally. Whatever you do, whoever you are – you trust them. And you are free to be yourself. Your true authentic self. That’s part of the reason why you love them so much, is because they allow you to be yourself. To just be.
The great thing about unconditional love, is that it is always there. It is already and ALWAYS inside of you. Yes, YOU. It’s already there. Perhaps it’s waiting to be nourished for the very first time, or maybe it just needs a little attention. Begin paying attention to what your body needs. What is your soul asking for today? When was the last time you paid much attention to what your body is asking for? To what your heart really needs? For me, this meant going for a solo drive to Squamish on my day off last week and journalling at a coffee shop. Taking a whole chunk of my day to be okay with giving to myself. For being okay with feeling exhausted and knowing what I needed in order to feel better. Realizing that I just needed some time alone, some space to allow my thoughts to settle. And guess what – after only 2 hours of some me-time, after what seemed like a whole bunch of stressful days filled with stressful thoughts – I was good. And even better when I saw this rainbow. ‘Everything’s gonna be alright’.
We can’t expect to overflow with love for others if we aren’t first and foremost giving ourselves what we need. We must learn to love OURSELVES unconditionally. To remember how important we really are. To be okay with knowing what we need, and ensuring we meet those needs. Unconditional love. It is inside of you. Always there. Waiting for you to trust. To be open. To just be. It is the sun within that never stops shining. It is always there.
Smile with your heart!