The uncomfortable. Exciting, yet exhausting at the same time. This is how I’m feeling anyways. I’m too hard on myself, always trying to be great right off the bat. If I don’t feel that I am? Well that’s when the negative thoughts start making their way in. The cookie sales at Capers start to increase, as does the stress and worrying thoughts. If I could give advice to myself? The stressful thoughts are a waste of energy. I know this, but it’s hard to grasp when you’re in it.
Being great right away at something is somewhat of a far reach if you’re chasing after something new. Where would the fun be if everything we tried for came without a drop of sweat? If we couldn’t see ourselves in the future being better? Take yoga for example. A newbie. Stiff as a board. Trying so desperately to focus on each individual pose. Glancing around at everyone else in the room, trying to be just as ‘good’ as them. Trying so badly to touch his toes that it causes pain – but he continues on because everyone around him seems to be doing it with ease. He doesn’t want to stand out. He doesn’t want to look new. So he clenches his teeth and fights through the pain.
What the newbie doesn’t realize is that the yogi beside him, who has been practicing for some time now, is focusing on his breath. Focusing on the moment. Breathing. Letting the breath guide his every movement. 99% of his practice, of each pose, is breath. The newbie fails to recognize this as he is so concerned of being great, right away. He fails to listen to the teacher explaining this, as he is so caught up in his definition of greatness. He begins to get frustrated with the pain, and in watching everyone around him flow gracefully through the movements. He already wants to give up. He wants to quit. The new yogi forgets the most vital aspect of yoga. The breath. The moment. He doesn’t yet understand that yoga involves a graceful flow. He doesn’t yet trust that this flow will come naturally to him. That it will lead his practice, if he lets it. A flow linking movement with breath. A foundation of practice within the breath.
All the yogi can really do is continue to show up. To breathe. To practice. To flow. To let go and allow himself to go through the process of something new. To ask questions. Become curious. Observe. Reach out to others who too used to be new to the practice. In remembering that everyone had to start somewhere. He can learn so much from this entire process. In striving for more, in the curiosity of it all, in the determination of wanting more, of wanting to be great, in never, never, never giving up.
When we are trying something new, we can be our best. Not any more, or any less. We can just be. The new challenge might feel awkward at first. It might be a little rigid, stiff, stressful and tight. But all we can do is trust that the more we practice, the more we allow our breath to lead our every movement, our every moment, that it will eventually start to flow. Gracefulness will begin to manifest. Even within the most challenging situations. Gracefully, it will manifest. It is impossible for it not to. If we continue trying, flowing, breathing and being, gracefulness will manifest. Being our best. Trusting that things will start to flow.
A little de-stressing can’t help either though right? My night? Yoga, Greys Anatomy (my guilty pleasure), wine and a muffin. I can’t believe Josh made these peanut butter chocolate muffins of goodness! I’m so impressed! 80/20 right?!
Smile with your heart!