I was inspired by a comment from my last post – thank you Rosa for sharing this TED talk with me. Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability. 20 minutes. It will leave you feeling inspired and ready to share more of yourself with your world. To connect. To embrace vulnerability. It is vulnerability which enables us to connect with one another, which is ultimately the reason why we are here. There is so much I got out of this 20 minute talk, but I’ll share what struck me the most along with some of my own thoughts.
Vulnerability helps give purpose and meaning to our lives. It enables us to connect. Think about how much closer you feel with someone when you’re able to share something personal about yourself, or when you’re going through something together. Bonding. Connection. How good does that feel?! And then there is the opposite of vulnerability: Shame. The fear of disconnection. You know, like the mask we put up so that people will ‘like us’. Or the holding back of saying something so real and authentic to the moment in fear of being rejected. In fear of not connecting to someone else. For not being accepted. I know I wear this mask sometimes. My shy side comes out, my ‘do I trust you yet?‘ part comes out – the quiet, observant girl who hides her well-known hyena laugh in hopes of fitting in. BORING! I’d say that in most cases, this fake self is not as liked. This perfectly happy, masked self tied with a bow is a facade. Totally un-relateable. No curiosity of wanting to discover much about this ‘perfect person’.
In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen. To be really seen. We have to believe that we are worthy of this connection. You know, like when you see a confident person walk into a room full of people and they just light it up? They glow with confidence and love. This person knows that they are worthy of connection. They expect it. How much do you want to be around this person? They radiate passion, and they rock any fears they might have. There’s something about them that draws you to them. Confidence. Acceptance of self. Why are we often so afraid, or shameful, of showing our true colors? Writing this is a reminder to myself that the more MYSELF I really am (the more vulnerable I allow myself to be), the more connection I will feel within myself and hence the more connection I will gain with the people around me. Ta-daaaa!!!
She mentions that these types of individuals – light up a room, whole hearted, passionate people – had another thing in common: vulnerability. They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They believed that vulnerability was NECESSARY. Even the simplest things, like being the first to say “I love you”, or putting all of your heart into something with no guaranttees. Investing in a relationship that may or may not work out. Whatever this vulnerability is, they believed it was FUNDAMENTAL. To remember that allowing ourselves to FEEL this vulnerability, means that we are alive. We are human. We are authentic, REAL, passionate humans living life to the fullest.
And the best part of the talk, which Rosa posted on the last comment (thank you!), was this: “To believe that I am enough. When we work from a place that says I am enough, we stop screaming and start listening. We are kinder and gentler to the people around us and gentler to ourselves.” We are good enough. We just have to believe this ourselves.
EMBRACE all of your quirks!! Every little thing about you! Put yourself out there. Ask! Express your passions. TRY! Fall on the floor from trying so hard. How do you expect to become great? With ease? No way! Succeeding involves learning to embrace our failures and looking at them with gratitude, beacuse without failure, or without vulnerability, we would never really feel alive. Isn’t that the whole point of this? To live this life with our whole heart? No short cuts. No masks. Only PASSION!
I put myself out there the other day by applying for the Vancouver Canadians Baseball team “girl of summer” position. What did I have to lose? Sore ego if I didn’t get it? Big deal! Vulnerability. It led me to a fun photoshoot today (some pics with Louise, another girl of summer) along with a few tickets to some Canadians Games (I didn’t actually win the top spot, but got to be a part of the team of 9!) and some advertisements for the Canadians! Either way, I put myself out there for rejection – how was I to win without being okay with failing? Embracing Vulnerability. Acknowledging the power of vulnerability. :) Amazing.
Smile with your heart!