(“It’s better to burn out than to fade away”)
This past weekend, the treadmill stopped. I was on island time – or trying to be anyways. My life just came to a hault. It wasn’t until I took time out for myself that I realized how exhausted I really am. Sometimes life is almost easier when we’re on the treadmill. We don’t know how to stop. We just keep saying ‘yes’, moving forward and continually working harder and faster. It’s like that saying, ‘if you want something done, give it to a busy person’. So true. This is definitely my personality, and I love it for the most part, but sometimes it’s just too much.
Seeing myself outside of my regular routine helped me to reflect on what’s important. What really matters when all of the hustle and bustle fades away. I honestly had no idea I was this tired until it all stopped. I found myself not even being able to relax on my vacation. Not being able to fully embrace island time – which is one thing I love so much about it over there. I was so worried about backed up emails, my to-do lists and trying to fit everything in. Too much! Next time I know that when I take time out for myself, I really need to take time out for myself.
Breaks are important. I know this from working in the hospital where you’re constantly trying to play catch up with the clock. I would often skip my breaks to stay ahead, until the Nurse I was working with literally had to force me to STOP! And take a break. To ensure the treadmill stopped. Otherwise we just keep going faster and faster… until we burnout.
I personally haven’t loved my writing since this weekend, you may have noticed a shift in my energy. Writing this blog is what I LOVE. I look forward to it everyday. The past few days haven’t felt like this. I am so passionate about this, it bothers me that I haven’t been able to put all of myself into my writing. I’ve realized that I am not able to give as much of myself, because I’m pretty much running on empty. I’m going to take my own advice here, and take a BREAK! Fill myself back up so that I’m able to overflow with what I love. Which is this! I take pride in my blog, but right now it feels overwhelming. So please stay tuned – I don’t know how long of a break I’ll need, probably not long since I can’t imagine not writing everyday! But even me writing this is a challenge. To stop the treadmill. I’m learning I guess! I can’t always be the “yes” girl. I have to relax and learn more of a balance.
If you haven’t checked yet, I’ve added a few tabs under Training Tips with my ideal exercise routine and some races I’m currently training for (this is what I was doing when I was supposed to be relaxing!) – so feel free to take a look while I’m on vacation for a little while!!! It’s actually hard for me to say this little goodbye, since I love this so much! I guess I must be doing what I’m meant to be – my heart loves this. Anywho, I will leave by saying “see you soon”, which one of my patients once told me that she always says instead of saying “goodbye”. It sounds much sweeter and less permanent – so SEE YOU SOON!!! :)
I’ll be back soon (probably only a few days!) – I promise!!! Until then….
Smile with your heart!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING!!! :)