The last few days have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster along with a flattering and eventful evening. I’m just a big ball of confusion right now, and to be honest I’m feeling a little numb – not really sure how to feel I guess you could say. I do know that once again I’m not feeling up to writing much about myself. It will pass. I know that some people are waiting to hear about what’s going on, but not tonight. Tomorrow night I don’t have any plans, so it will be an authentic, fun filled blog I’m sure. These long days are catching up with me!
One thing I can share is something that I took away with me from my yoga class tonight. Reno’s back bend Monday’s. My favourite class of the week. I couldn’t miss it. I was in search of some guidance and asked before class started to receive a sign. Perhaps a direction maybe? Lately with some stuff that’s come up, I’ve had a bunch of emotions that I just want out. An outlet. A healthy way to help express myself and perhaps to learn more about where it’s coming from and what exactly my body is trying to tell me. For me, this outlet is music. I’ve been picking up the guitar more than normal over the past few days, and I even ran by a Tom Lee to play some piano. Imagine some sweaty chick dressed head to toe in luon playing classical tunes on a random rainy Sunday afternoon. That was me! I needed it!!
There were a few things from class that stood out for me tonight, but the one thing that resonated the most was this, “Live your music. Let it out. Don’t hold back what you know in your heart to be true”. This is what I’m doing. Living my music. My emotions are written all over this page, the pretty and the ugly. I’m sharing what’s in my heart to help myself heal as well as to perhaps make someone else feel that everything is okay. To know that there are people out there that feel the same way. Pheww! I know how much better it feels to have someone other than myself, or my journal, sympathize with me when I’m sharing my feelings. Just like how the smiles and goosebumps in the room grow when another instrument is added to the mix. Different sound but it’s the same tune. We’re all in this together. Whatever your music might be, live it and let it out!
Don’t hold back in your heart what you know to be true. We always know. It’s the believing in it that’s the hard part. I wanted to shake a “yes” or a “no” out of him tonight at the end of class to help me on my path, but all I was left with was “You always know”. Okay fine, you’re right! I just have to listen.
Smile with your heart!