Thanks for checking in today. Unfortunately, I’m not in the mood to write. I’ve had a rough few days. Kind of a bad mood funk. I woke up this morning after having grosse dreams and started crying. I wanted to wallow in my sorrow in bed, but decided against it when I picked up the book “The Happieness Project” in hopes of some inspiration. I opened up to a page that read ‘Discover your spirituality’. I seriously heard a soft voice inside my head say to me – Go to yoga. Just go to yoga. I did get my butt out of my comfy bed but ended up crying when I got there too. Just a funk. I don’t feel like going into it, I will one day soon. Although one thing that did help this morning was ASKING for help. I asked out loud as I was walking home from yoga, “Please help me right now!”. And within one minute, Pookie called. Then Sylvia called. Then Mish called. Thanks guys. Thanks for listening and for being there for me. Everyone. Thanks for the support. Just another funky day – not worried about it because tomorrow will be better. Up and down. This is my life!
I have spent some time with Murf (aka the ex :)) over the past little while, and feel all confused and just messed up. I read some things on his new website yesterday that made me feel kinda crappy. It’s hard seeing things we don’t want to. He didn’t mean for it to hurt me, it was all in good intentions, but it’s just the way I chose to react. I specifically told him that I just want to be friends, so why is it so hard for me to see him putting it out there what he wants in his dream woman? I dunno. What can you do. Why do we check anyways? Why do we keep looking if we know it will hurt? Grrrrrr. I don’t know, but I do know that I just need to feel sad in order to get out of this funk.
I’ll blog about Crush 101 in the next few days. I want to feel inspired when I’m talking about something inspiring!! We all go through days like this, I just so happen to write it for everyone to see. We’re all normal. I remember my dad would always tell me, that whatever feeling we’re experiencing, it’s guaranteed that someone else has felt it too. Every feeling is ‘normal’, if you want to call it that. So here’s me letting you know that it’s okay for happy people to feel funky and in a bad mood. Everyone HAS to feel bad somedays. If not, where’s the balance? I know where I’ll be at 7am tomorrow morning – hitting the bags at the gym.
Smile with your heart.
p.s. this picture I took the other day when I was in lululemon. I was so excited to see this rainbow shining in through the door – I love rainbows. I see them as positive signs in my life. Some people probably thought I was a bit nuts kneeling on the floor and snapping a few shots, but oh well. I made some people smile in doing so :) Have a great night, I’ll be feeling better tomorrow I’m sure.
Oh, and I haven’t responded to all of the amazing comments in the past few days because of this funk – but THANK YOU! I REALLY appreciate them all! I will be back soon!