Day 14 – Fill me up!


Wow.  What an amazing Christmas.  I have to say it was my new favourite.  I love that every Christmas continues to become my favourite Christmas.  I was having a conversation with an older lady on the train this trip who had done many a travleing during her life.  I asked her which place was her favourite.  Her answer: “the answer to that question is always where you’re going”.  This made me smile.  So my favourite Christmas, is the most recent one that passed.  Making the most out of each moment in life is perhaps the key to happiness.

I have never had such an amazing meal before as I had last night.  And it was all cooked by MEN!!!  4 men in the kitchen, I’ve never seen such a thing in my entire life!  They just so happened to be 4 of Byron’s most amazing chef’s, all in one kitchen.  We had mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes, sweet potatoes, green beans, brocolini, carrots, yams, salad, tomoato & bocconici salad, pork, chicken, sausages wrapped in bacon, and oh so much more.  Everything tasted perfect.  I wore my buddha shirt that Pookie bought me for Christmas, and I do have to say that Buddha’s tummy was much larger after last night than it was prior to eating.  I couldn’t stop eating!!  AMAZING!!!  And the people were wonderful.  A family away from home.  We had friends from Canada, Germany, Czehcoslovakia, England, New Zealand, America and South Africa.  It felt so good to be among all of these beautiful people.

I missed being with my family yesterday, but really didn’t miss ‘home’.  I really felt that I was surrounded by so much love.  I felt real.  I felt myself.  I finally am feeling that I’m coming into my own.  So much has happened over the past few days, things that I’m learning about myself.  I’m having to digest it all slowly.  I’ve been journalling a ton, and just being with my feelings.  I really do feel that all of this has happened for a reason.  That I had to go through that tough crying stage to finally be able to let go and move forward.  I really feel that I have reached a break through with myself.  That I’m turning into the woman that I knew was always inside of me.  So real, confident, free spirited, loving and at home and peace with myself.

 

Sometimes I guess we have to feel completely alone and empty to allow ourselves to fill it with self love.  Or maybe to realize how much room there is inside of us to fill with everything and anything we can imagine.  I’m filling myself with love.  I am an empress of love.  I don’t need anyone to fill this for me.  I’ve learned how empty I can become in order to fill it.  How would you know how much juice to fill in a glass if you didn’t know how big the glass was?  I’m filling myself up completely so that I am able to give love to the people around me without NEEDING them to help fill me up.  I’m also learning to show myself the love I need so that others may know how I receive love.  How is anyone supposed to know how to love you if you don’t show it to yourself? 

I’ve learned so much about myself in only 2 weeks of this trip.  SO MUCH.  It’s probably a good thing to hit rock bottom, to feel painfuly empty.  Like you’re being ringed out like a wet cloth.  Maybe if you are feeling sad, or find yourself in a tough place, you can think of your tears as being necessarily ringed out of you.  Only then is your heart completey broken open and ready to start absorbing and allowing so many new and good things in.

Life is so good!

Smile with your heart!

 

 

 

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