It’s Christmas Eve! Santa hats are everywhere in this town, even in the ocean. Other than the hats, there’s not too much Christmas. Only one house is lit up. I actually like it. There’s less hustle and bustle. Less rushing. It feels good.
I went for a run this morning, and ended up calling Melissa to make sure we had our plans right. I ended up crying on the phone, AGAIN. What the hell is going on!!!! I took her advice and hugged a tree, then talked it out with Pookie at home. It was a strange feeling I had this morning. It was like I felt somewhat empty. I’ve never had that feeling before. I can’t say I liked it much.
Things started to turn around with our drive in Maxine into town. The tarot card reader yeterday explained to me that I have a bunch of emotions held tight inside. Emotions = energy in motion. So basically, I had alot of energy bundelled up inside. She suggested that I YELL at the top of my lungs and have a good cry to help let it out. I thought to myself, that sounds good but I would feel really strange doing that. I’ve never tried it before. Until today.
Pookie and I were both kind of off today, maybe it’s because of the terenchal downpour rain that makes us feel we’re on a rainy movie set. So on our way into town, we decided to yell at the top of our lungs together: “$%*# you RAIN!!” It felt so good we had to do it 3 more times. I’m talking yelling as loud as we could. We both looked at one another and said that was the loudest we’ve ever yelled. It was weird, but SO NEEDED!! We couldn’t stop laughing after this! My abs still hurt from lauging. We both felt SO MUCH BETTER after this! I felt lighter. Free. I felt that something started to be lifted. I really recommend yelling. Especially with a friend. Man it felt good!
Before we left into town, I received an email from my naturopath. I emailed her back explaining to her how much of a hard time I was having, and was becoming frustrated with this becuase I’m in PARADISE!!! She emailed back within 30 minutes and gave me some good advice. I’m to feel the loneliness I’m experiencing, and not to fear it. To remember that I’m not alone: it’s only a perception. She suggested I go to a yoga class or spiritual gathering of some sort to help me connect to my inner strength. Also that I should remember why I wanted to come to Australia. I thought about the reasons why I wanted to come here. To relax, reflect, practie yoga, meditate and surf. So I did just that.
I went to a yoga class. Wow. Therapy #2 of the day. Thanks for encouraging me to bring my mat with me today Pook. At the end of the class, I actually heard a voice inside of me say ‘Thank you JT for coming here today’. I’ve never heard that voice before. I talked with the teacher after the class and told her how grateful I was. I explained what had been going on, sort of asking for guidance I guess you could say. She told me that Byron Bay is a place full of healing energy, and that this is to be expected. She mentioned that people often come here to heal, many of whom stay for good. I GET IT. I FEEL it.
I feel as though everything has led me to this place. To heal. I felt it as soon as I got here. Too many weird things are starting to line up and make sense. So much of what the tarot card reader was saying was giving me goosebumps. My friend Mike from back home (who just happened to be on the same island in Belize when shit was going down this past May) recommended that I come to Byron. He’s my spiritual guru go-to guide. He just gets me, and I can relate to him with all of my spiritual questions. Anyways, he gave me a guide book of Eastern Australia which he used 4 years ago here. In it, he left 2 bookmarks which are some internet coupons for a cafe in Byron Bay. On the top corner, there is the initials ‘JT’. I thanked him for these when I found them in the book later on, figuring he wrote my name on them. Funny thing is, he didn’t write the initials. They were written there 4 years ago. Crazy.
It’s as though I’m meant to be here. Right now. With so much love around me, I am here to heal. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I GET IT!!! My heart is smiling once again. The glow is starting to shine.
During the yoga class, I came up with my powerful, new mantra:
“I am an empress of love. I have love all around me everywhere I go.”
Smile with your heart!
P.S. Try wrapping your presents with recycled newspaper and save a tree! Merry Christmas Eve!!!