Day 34 – Ask for guidance!


Last night was special.  What an AMAZING feeling to work so hard for something and then get to celebrate!!  I feel that yesterday was a turning point in my life – like I’ve stepped up.  I really can’t believe I’m a NURSE.  I loved yesterday.  I had a great last shift, and actually found myself sad to leave.  My preceptor was wonderful.  I couldn’t have imagined being paired with a better nurse.  It was actually hard to say goodbye!  I left the hospital smiling ear to ear.  I got home, hopped in the shower, put on some dancing tunes and headed out.  It was a perfect night.  So simple.  Me and Melissa (one of my favourite people) went for some drinks at the Yaletown Brewery (one of my favourite pubs) and then ended up at the Roxy for some dancing and more good times (one of my favourite bars).  What a great night!!!

The only downfall was that McDonald’s is apparetnly closed on Wednesday nights/early mornings. DAMNIT!!  I hardly ever want to go there, but when I do, I want to go now!!!  You can see my anger in the pic.  What a good night!

Life is good for me lately.  I just feel that all of a sudden I’m starting to learn so much more.  I’ve been asking for help.  I’ve been asking the universe to help guide me in the direction that I”m supposed to go.  To bring people into my life to show me more of myself, and to help me learn.  I don’t know if it is because of this asking, or the fact that I am more aware of energy and things around me, but my life has changed. Something really has shifted.  It all feels mumbled in my head right now, so I’m not sure how this is going to come out.  Maybe it won’t all come out today.

 

I put a lot of it together tonight at my counselling session (she is amazing!).  I have also been learning a lot from Melissa.  I love living with roommates.  It always just shows you so much about yourself, and I find myself always learning.  Melissa has been helping me to RECEIVE.  This sounds like an easy thing to do, but for someone who likes to give so easily, it’s actually quite hard.  I was actually PROUD of myself last night.  A couple of guys payed for our cover and bought us some drinks.  I instinctively reached to my wallet to buy at least one of them back one as a thank you, but then stopped.  Nope, not this time.  I just said “thank you” and that was that.  I’m learning that if someone wants to give me something, the nicest thing I can do is receive.  We shouldn’t keep score when we give.

I seem to think that it’s one for one.  You do something for me, so I do something for you.  Right?  Wrong!  We all give in different ways, and it doesn’t have to be instant.  A man may find it fulfilling to buy me a drink, or buy me dinner.  This doesn’t mean that I have to do the same in return.  I can give back by giving my attention, by simply listening and being myself.  People appreciate such small things!  It feels good to recieve.  This is only just one small example of how I’m learning to receive.  I’m also finding that the more I give, the more I’m able to receive.  And the more that I receive, the more I’m able to give AND receive.  No need to keep score!  It just feels good.

Since I’ve started asking for guidance, I have found the most interesting situations coming into my life.  Similar patterns or people have been brought to my attention, allowing me to finally become aware of my patterns.  I’ll definitely be sharing more in later blogs.  I find it so interesting how the universe tends to keep bringing similar experiences/people into your life until you FINALLY get what you’re supposed to learn.  And if you don’t get it, you are guaranteed to be eventually shaken up – something so obvious or sometimes hurtful tends to happen.  It always seems to work this way!  Do you ever find yourself saying “I always attract the same type of person!” (for me, this tends to be non-commital men) – hmmmmm… maybe it’s ME that has an issue with commitment, perhaps?  Or maybe it’s the fact that I  have an underlying fear of men leaving me?  I’m sure it’s all related.  There’s always so much to learn! We can begin to change the pattern only once we’ve become aware of it.  Awareness is necessary for growth and change!

Ask for guidance. Ask to whomever you believe in to help guide you.  Start to notice patterns.  Become aware of similar people or experiences that come into your life. If you’re not happy with it, ask yourself how does it make you feel? Maybe start to question what you can learn from it.  How you can become better.  At the very least, try your best every day and aim to do better with each new beginning.  Each brand new day is a new beginning.  Life is so good!

Smile with your heart!

Here’s Syl and me tonight at Joey’s! CELEBRATION!!  We had to order another chocolate cake because one just wasn’t enough.  Love you Syl!!  Thanks for being such a great friend!


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