Trust is probably one of the greatest gifts we can ever give to someone – including ourselves. When we trust, we let go. When we trust, we can give everything we have to that exact moment. We are free to be ourselves. We are not afraid of what’s to come. It’s one of the greatest feelings possible – to trust.
Last night was summer solstice. I was pondering what I was going to set out as an intention as I looked out over the water. Nothing was really coming to mind. This was unusual for me – for someone who loves lists and goals and striving for more. But at that moment, all that was coming to me was a smile. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt such a feeling of calmness and contentment at once. I can honestly say that THIS MOMENT is the happiest I’ve been. Ever. But it’s not a jumping up and down energetic lightbulb type of happiness. It’s a calm, genuine, half-smile, sit back & relax take it all in and just trust kind of happiness. It’s a ‘learn to be okay with the brick walls because everything always seems to work out’ type of happiness. I’ve never been at a point where I’ve trusted so much. Trusted myself.
I think before, I would rely on other people to help me along on my journey. To tell me which way to go. To help me make decisions and to help guide me somewhere – anywhere I was “supposed” to go. Lately, I’ve just been sitting quietly with decisions and listening to myself. Trusting myself. Knowing that I already know the answer. Knowing that if something isn’t going “right”, or the way I expect it to, then it’s better to let go. To enjoy the “what could be next!” instead of getting frustrated with the “should have been”.
As I was sitting quietly last night, I was reflecting back over this past year – so many changes. So many ups and downs. Such a different place from 12 months ago. So much growth. It was a clear and cleansing breath of fresh air looking back at how much panic and sadness I was in this time last year compared to right now. To be sitting at a place within myself at this moment, that felt so calm and just RIGHT, felt amazing. I FINALLY am learning to trust myself. I’m finally believing that everything will always work out.
So as for my intentions? Just to remain happy. To continue going with the flow that I’m enjoying right now. I wouldn’t want to change much in my life – I’m a happy camper. And the being sick thing? I’m listening. Listening to the whispers. I’m learning to let go of my attachment to an outcome that I previously thought “should” be there. Should is boring. I’m learning to follow my heart and to trust it with all that I can.
One of my favourite happy tunes by Mason Jennings just popped into my head – “I believe, if you fall in love, you should jump right in.” So true for so many things. Love who you are. Trust yourself. Trust where you’re headed. And jump right in. It’s a fun ride. :)
Smile with your heart!